Myth Manners- On Mocking the Gods

Plagued by jealous gods? Bedeviled by man-eating monsters? In love with a centaur but you're allergic to fur? Maybe Myth Manners can help you!



Dear Myth Manners,

Whenever I’m at the local taverna and I’ve had a skinful of wine, I have an irresistible urge to make fun of the gods. I can’t help it! I just think some of the things they do are so ridiculous! For example, why in the world would Zeus choose to go courting in the form of a swan, a bull, or a shower of golden rain, no matter how attractive a shower of rain he was? Why would Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite waste one of Atlas’ golden apples on Paris, whose only redeeming quality was his hotness? Sometimes, the gods just make me want to giggle! But I feel like if the gods find out I’m laughing at them, they’re not going to be happy. But they shouldn’t be that mad, right? Honestly, what’s the worst that can happen?

Sincerely, Giggling at the Gods

Dear Giggling,

Unfortunately for you, the gods have a serious problem with people who point out their negative qualities. Think of them as teenagers, super-sensitive to any slight or insult, but with the powers of shape-changing, thunder and lightning, super-strength, weather-changing, etc. You don’t want to make them mad!

I had a friend recently who wove a tapestry to illustrate how ridiculous the gods were. Athena came and changed her into a spider! Granted, tapestries are a lot more permanent than taverna gossip, but I wouldn’t chance it if I were you!